I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
