You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
