I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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