Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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