is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
