In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
