I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
