nut hugger
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
