YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
