just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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