hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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