I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
