Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
