So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
