its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
