Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
