his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
