You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
