that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
