My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
