apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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