someone threw a dead crab at me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
BRING THE BAGELS
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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