And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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