I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
