there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
God I need to hump something, right now.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
