I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
When are your genitals available?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
