She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
