some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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