Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
