I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I need to stop coming to work sober
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Did I show you my penis last night?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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