i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
