We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
