What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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