she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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