Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
