can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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