he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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