Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This house was built for laser tag.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
