Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
