dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
