Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
