please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
