As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't turn off my feet"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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