Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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