somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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