she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
