so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
