Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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