Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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