windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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