Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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