You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
